Pete's Expert Summary
Ah, yes, another plastic contraption from the humans' world of "Nintendo." It appears to be a sort of shrine where one rolls a speckled cube to determine the fate of two small, mustachioed statues. The centerpiece is a garish, toothy plant that lunges forward on a mechanical whim, a cheap jump-scare designed to entertain simple minds. While the intricate rules and the act of "winning" are clearly a colossal waste of my energy, I must admit a certain professional interest. The small figurines have a pleasing heft that suggests they would skitter quite satisfactorily across the hardwood floor with a well-aimed swat, and the die itself could provide minutes of frantic, under-the-sofa-based entertainment. A tedious ritual for them, perhaps, but a potential source of spare parts for me.
Key Features
- Super Mario Tabletop Piranha Plant Escape! Game, Multiplayer Family Game for Ages 4+
- Game includes easy-to-assemble Piranha Plant base with game board, 2 unique Super Mario Action Figures including Super Mario and Luigi, 2 Character Plates with Yoshi & Toad stickers and game die.
- Roll the die to determine how many places your Super Mario character must move on the game board. The number you land determines the number of chances to must take against this classic villain. Watch out! The Piranha Plant will randomly attack and knock the figures off of the game board. Be the last character standing to win!
- Collectible Action Figures are compatible with other Super Mario Games including Balancing Games and Blow Up! Shaky Tower! Collect all games and expand your collection of figures!
- Great indoor family activity and game night favorite for Nintendo and Super Mario fans!
A Tale from Pete the Cat
It arrived on a Tuesday, a day I usually reserve for deep contemplation of the dust motes dancing in the sunbeams. The Human, with the sort of ceremony usually reserved for opening a can of my favorite tuna, assembled the brightly colored artifact on the low table in the living room. It was a stage, a miniature coliseum of sorts, dominated by a slumbering green-and-white beast. Two tiny, brave-looking figures were placed before it: one in red, one in green. They stood there, frozen, awaiting their doom. I watched from the precipice of the armchair, an old god observing the follies of a new and deeply confusing religion. The Human began the rite, shaking a small, spotted cube in their cupped hand before letting it clatter onto the board. A number was revealed. The red totem was moved. A strange tension filled the air. Then, the Human pressed a button, and the beast, the "Piranha Plant," awoke. It lunged forward with a loud *CLICK*, its plastic maw snapping shut just shy of the red figure. The Human gasped with feigned surprise. I, however, was not so easily impressed. This was not chaos; this was clockwork. A predictable, spring-loaded destiny. I gave a dismissive flick of my ear and began grooming a patch of immaculate fur on my shoulder. Later, when the Human was distracted by the glowing rectangle they carry everywhere, I took my chance. I landed on the table with the silence of a falling shadow. I approached the arena, my whiskers twitching as I analyzed the scene. The little statues smelled of nothing but the factory they were born in. The great plant-beast was inert, its threat entirely dependent on the clumsy finger of its master. I saw no honor in this battle. With a calculated nudge of my nose, I sent the green figure, "Luigi," toppling from the board. He landed silently on the rug. There was no thrill, no challenge. It was a hollow spectacle. I then turned my attention to the true prize: the speckled cube. With a deft hook of my claw, I flicked it from the board. It skittered across the floor, a far more compelling and unpredictable opponent than the plastic plant could ever be. I pounced, chasing it under the bookshelf. The game, I concluded, was merely a clumsy container. The true toy had been freed. The Piranha Plant can keep its stage; I have my star.
