A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Skate Accessory Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: Moxi
Pink Ordnance Identified; Human Given Wider Berth
Pete cracks the Moxi Brake Petals case, classifies them as stopping ordnance enabling the human's reckless speed, and resolves to give the now-braked giantess a more cautious berth on skating days.

My human has presented me with two rubbery nubs, offensively pink, shaped like some sort of sad, flattened flower from the uncanny valley of flora. They call them 'Moxi Brake Petals,' which sounds like a rejected name for a terrible garage band. Apparently, these are 'toe stoppers' for the wheeled monstrosities she sometimes attaches to her feet. From my pe…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Moxi Brake Petals - Rubber Roller Skate Toe Stoppers - Pair | Pink Carnation
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
Grudging respect. It does its job.
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