My human has acquired a pair of wheeled feet. These contraptions, apparently called "roller skates," are designed to be strapped onto her already clumsy appendages, promising "stability and control"—a claim I find intensely dubious given her long-standing feud with basic gravity. The only redeeming qualities I can discern are the so-called "flash wheels," w…
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It appears my human has acquired a pair of wheeled feet. These "Roller Derby" contraptions are, from what I can gather, designed to make her already …
My human has procured a pair of monstrous, wheeled foot-prisons from a company called 'Roller Derby,' which sounds entirely too energetic. Ostensibly…
My human has presented me with a box containing what appear to be wheeled monstrosities for the Small Human's feet. This contraption, from a company …
My human, in a fit of questionable judgment, has presented a pair of wheeled foot-cages apparently called the "Roller Derby Falcon." From what I can …
So, my human is considering strapping these monstrous wheeled contraptions to her feet. They appear to be stiff white boots, accented in a rather uni…
My human seems to have acquired a pair of wheeled foot-prisons they call "inline skates." From what I can gather, these are hard, black contraptions …