A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Kid Helmet Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Chin Rest Redeems an Otherwise Repellent Pink Dome
★★☆☆☆
Phantom Light Transforms Gaudy Plastic into Worthy Hunt
★★★★☆
Overturned Blue Dome Repurposed as Hallway Trip Hazard
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From:
Foam Padding Secretly Rivals the Velvet Armchair
Pete camps inside the blue helmet's ventilated dome and discovers the removable foam padding is an almost perfect sleeping surface, declaring the purchase a victory for accidental throne acquisition.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has presented me with what appears to be a shiny, blue, hollow rock. They call it a "helmet," apparently for the clumsy small humans who sometimes visit. It has holes in it, which I suppose could be useful for poking a curious paw through, and some dangling straps that might offer a moment's diversion. The primary function seems to be protecting a …

Continued on the story page →
Image of Kids Bike Helmet, Adjustable and Multi-Sport, from Toddler to Youth, 3 Sizes (Blue)
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
A state-of-the-art personal napping pod
From The Desk
Image of Besttravel Kids Bike Helmet, Toddler Adjustable Toddler Bike Helmet Ages 3-8 Years Old Boys Girls Multi-Sports Safety (Blue)
Novelty Pod Passes Minimalist Comfort Standards, Barely

It appears the Human has acquired a hard, blue bowl with straps, ostensibly for one of the smaller, louder humans. They call it a "helmet," a device meant to protect a head that i…

★★★☆☆ — Acceptable only for its unintended purpose
More From The Desk
Image of Toddler Bike Helmet for Boys and Girls, Adjustable Kids Helmets from Infant/Baby to Children, 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8 Years Old (Unicorn,Size S)
Cardboard Box Wins; Unicorn Horn Concedes the Field

My human has presented me with what appears to be a hard, colorful shell meant for the head of the small, noisy human. They call it a 'Unicorn Helmet…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of Kids Bike Helmet Set, Adjustable Helmet for Ages 3-15 Year Boys Girls, Pad Set with Knee and Elbow Pads for Bike, Roller, Skating, Scooter, Longboard and More Sports
Velcro Symphony Saves an Otherwise One-Star Dome

My human appears to have acquired a collection of rigid, brightly colored domes and matching limb-coverings, ostensibly for the clumsy miniature huma…

★★☆☆☆
Image of OutdoorMaster Skateboard Cycling Helmet - Two Removable Liners Ventilation Multi-Sport Scooter Roller Skate Inline Skating for Kids, Youth & Adults - L - Black
Fortified Acoustic Dome Approved as Premium Nap Bunker

So, my human presented me with this... object. Apparently, it's a hard, black shell meant to protect their oversized head while they engage in gracel…

★★★★☆
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