A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Child Carrier Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: Infantino
Mobile Throne Reveals Salmon Treats at Altitude
Pressed into service as a test subject, Pete discovers the Infantino carrier delivers an unparalleled view of the kitchen counter and immediately reclassifies it as a tactical assault vehicle.

My human has presented me with this... textile prison. It appears to be a harness designed to strap the small, loud, and frankly useless other creature to her person. They call it a "carrier." I call it a mobile containment unit. The promises of "breathable mesh" and an "ergonomic seat" are mildly intriguing, I suppose, if one were to be subjected to such a…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Infantino Carry On Carrier - Ergonomic, Expandable, face-in and face-Out, Front and Back Carry for Newborns and Older Babies 8-40 lbs
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
An affront with undeniable potential
More From The Desk
Image of JC TOYS ADJUSTABLE CARRIER – Converts from Rocking Baby Carrier to Feeding Seat – Perfect for Children 2+ , Pink , 16 inches
JC Toys
Pink Kinetic Dream Pod Conquers the Skeptic

My human seems to have acquired yet another piece of plastic flotsam, this time a garish pink contraption clearly intended for one of those lifeless,…

★★★★☆
Image of GAGAKU Baby Doll Carrier for Girls, Toddlers and Kids - Adjustable Straps, Reborn Accessories - Green (Pinecones)
GAGAKU
King Gets Stuck in Pinecone Bag on the Floor

My human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature transport harness, a sort of tactical sling for the Small Human. It's called a "Baby Do…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of GAGAKU Reborn Baby Doll Carrier for Kids & Stuffed Animals - Pink Rose of Sharon
GAGAKU
Cotton Palanquin Breaches the Sacred Fish-Tank Room

So, my Human has presented me with this... thing. A "GAGAKU Reborn Baby Doll Carrier." It appears to be a miniature version of the harnesses they use…

★★★★☆
Image of HappyVk - Baby Doll Carrier - Doll Carrier for Little Girls Front and Back - Cute Flowers and Hearts
HappyVk
Boneless Escape Foils the HappyVk and All Its Straps

My Human has presented me with this... artifact. From what I can gather, this "HappyVk Baby Doll Carrier" is a brightly-colored fabric harness design…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of GAGAKU Baby Doll Carrier for Kids, Stuffed Animal Carrier Reborn Baby Dolls Carrier with Adjustable Straps, Baby Doll Accessories - Pink (Stars)
Emperor Surveys His Kingdom from the Star-Print Palanquin

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with what appears to be a transportation device for inanimate fluff. This "G…

★★★☆☆
Image of GAGAKU Baby Doll Carrier for Little Girls Baby Carrier for Dolls Reborn Baby Doll Carrier Toddlers 1-3 Years Old Babydoll Carrier - Pink Rose of Sharon
Strap Battle Won; Nap in Floral Pouch Follows Naturally

My human has, yet again, squandered her resources on a piece of brightly colored fabric. From what I can gather, this is a "doll carrier," a sling of…

★★★★☆
Image of GAGAKU Baby Doll Carrier for Toddler Toy Baby Carrier for Dolls Accessories Doll Carriers for Kids – Blue (Pinecones)
Blue Pinecone Straps Tolerated After Spirited Battle

My Human, in her infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured yet another item clearly not meant for me, the true center of this household. This…

★★★☆☆
Other Desks In This Section
⬆ Up a level
About Pete Printed daily, ignored nightly Privacy Policy