My human has presented me with what appears to be a plush effigy of some long-extinct lizard. This "Brachiosaurus," from a brand called Wild Republic, is a curious specimen. Its primary, and perhaps only, redeeming feature is its absurdly long neck, which seems purpose-built for grappling, biting, and a vigorous application of my back claws. At ten inches, …
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My human, in a fit of what I can only assume was profound boredom, has procured a crude effigy of one of my larger, significantly less-pampered cousi…
So, The Staff has acquired a box full of what appear to be thin, flat, wooden biscuits. Their intention, it seems, is to engage in the baffling ritua…
My human, in her infinite and often misplaced wisdom, has presented me with what appears to be a long-necked quadruped suffering from a severe case o…
My human has presented me with what appears to be an elephant suffering from a catastrophic fabric-related incident. This "Message from The Planet" p…
So, the human has presented me with this... collection of plastic sea predators. It appears to be a set of fourteen rigid, un-furry beasts of various…