My human has acquired what appears to be a crimson plastic cyclops, a so-called "View-Master." The stated purpose is for them to hold this contraption to their face and stare at static, three-dimensional images of lesser creatures, like lions and pandas, by flicking a lever. They claim this is for "learning" and "retro fun." I suspect it is merely another d…
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My Staff has presented me with a piece of plastic junk shaped like a cartoon caricature of a feline, an insultingly simplistic creature known as "Hel…
My human, in their infinite and often baffling wisdom, has presented me with a small, plastic effigy of a red box with eyes. This “Funko” brand is kn…
Honestly, the name "WARM FUZZY" is a rather audacious claim, considering *I* am the gold standard for both warmth and fuzziness. From what I can dedu…
My human has procured a plastic face-box, a garish piece of purple and green meant for the smaller, louder humans. They call it a "3D viewer," a devi…