A Review · From: Learning Resources
Swatter Repurposed as Ladder to Forbidden Treat Summit
Pete dismisses the arithmetic game but engineers a counter-climbing operation using the green plastic swatter as a makeshift ladder, successfully liberating a bag of salmon treats from the forbidden heights.
My human seems to have acquired yet another 'educational' device from a brand called Learning Resources, this one named 'Mathswatters.' It appears to be a rudimentary training tool for the small, loud humans who visit. They are expected to whack colorful cardboard flies with plastic swatters to solve simple arithmetic, a task my superior brain accomplished moments after birth. The concept of 'swatting' is, of course, intriguing, as it is a noble and ancient feline art form. However, applying this sacred skill to flimsy cardboard for the purpose of 'learning' seems a profound misuse of talent. The swatters themselves, though... they might have some potential for batting things off the counter, but the game itself is clearly a distraction from my scheduled naps.
The box arrived with the scent of plastic and crushed potential. My human, with an air of misplaced enthusiasm, presented its contents to the Small Human—a creature of chaotic energy and sticky fingers. They laid out the colorful cardboard hexagons, buzzing with printed numbers. An insult to real flies everywhere. Then came the swatters. Four of them, bright and flimsy. I watched from my perch on the armchair, tail twitching in mild irritation as the cacophony of "learning" began. "Two plus three!" the Human exclaimed. *WHACK*. The Small Human smashed a cardboard fly bearing the number five. Pathetic.
For an hour, I was forced to endure this spectacle. The swatting was clumsy, the calculations agonizingly slow. But my focus narrowed not on the "game," but on the tools. Specifically, the green swatter, carelessly abandoned near the edge of the coffee table. My gaze drifted from the swatter to the forbidden summit of the kitchen counter, where a crinkly bag of salmon-flavored treats sat, taunting me. A plan, elegant in its simplicity, began to form in my magnificent mind. This "Mathswatter" would not be a tool for learning, but a tool for liberation.
I waited until the humans were distracted by a spilled juice box, a common and useful diversion. I leaped silently from the armchair, a gray shadow moving with purpose. The swatter was light, its handle a perfect length. I hooked a claw into the small hole at the end, dragging it across the floor with the stealth of a panther. This was not play; this was work. Pushing it ahead of me, I managed to prop it against the kitchen cabinet. It was a clumsy ladder, but a ladder nonetheless. A monument to my ingenuity.
With a great heave, I scrambled up the swatter, my claws finding purchase on the plastic mesh. A brief moment of instability, then—success. I was on the counter. The crinkly bag succumbed to my teeth and claws with a glorious rip. As salmon-dusted morsels tumbled onto the forbidden linoleum, I spared a thought for the swatter. A ridiculous toy for a ridiculous purpose, but as an instrument for achieving one's goals? It has earned a modicum of my respect. I will allow it to remain in my house. For now.
Exhibit A — the specimen
The Particulars
—Swat, Learn, and Win!: Kids grab a swatter, add or subtract, and swat their way to new kindergarten math skills every time they play these fast-paced math games for kids!
—Multiple Ways to Play: Designed for 1-4 players, these smart games for kids comes with many ways to play and learn—compete head-to-head, or boost with solo play!
—Great for Home or Classroom: Made from durable, wipe-clean plastic and sturdy cardboard, this set’s components are ready for years of number learning for kids at home or in the classroom!
—Ages and Stages: Specially designed with little ones in mind, the Mathswatters Addition & Subtraction Game helps kids as young as 5 build early math and social skills!
—Give the Gift of Learning: Whether you’re shopping for holidays, birthdays, or educational indoor games, toys from Learning Resources help you discover new learning fun every time you give a gift!
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
For one's goals: earns respect.
Filed under: Learning Resources