A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Early Development Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Osacoe
Baby Gets the Rings; Pete Keeps the Box
★★★☆☆
AINOI
Plastic Animals Crack Under Interrogation
★★★★☆
beiens
Farm Tails File: Case Left Suspiciously Open
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: THISMY
Chaos Cube Tolerated, Phone Cord Claimed
Our critic endures the crimson activity cube's sonic warfare long enough to declare its telephone cord a first-rate dental trophy and its spinning gear marginally acceptable.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

So, the human has presented me with this... this garish plastic cube, a monument to developmental desperation intended for a neonate human. Apparently, it's a "THISMY" brand, a name that inspires absolutely no confidence. It purports to be a hub of musical activity, featuring a drum for crude percussion, gears to spin, and a miniature piano that likely prod…

Continued on the story page →
Image of THISMY Early Development Baby Toys 6 to 12 Months,Activity Music Toys for Toddlers 11.8×11.8×12.2 Inches (Red)
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
Tolerable only for its phone cord.
From The Desk
Image of KIDWILL Wooden Hammering Pounding Toy for 12+ Months Kids, Montessori Toys for 1+ Year Old Babies, Early Development Toy with Pounding Bench, Xylophone, Number Sorting Maze, Gifts for Toddlers Age 1-2
KIDWILL
Critic Steals the Mallet, Files No Complaint

My human has procured what appears to be a multifaceted wooden noisemaker from a brand named KIDWILL, which sounds dreadfully unsophisticated. It is, of course, intended for the s…

★★★☆☆ — The drum understands restraint. One mallet down.
More From The Desk
Image of Tiny Land Montessori Baby Toy Set 4-6 Months – Early Learning Motor Skills Development Kit with 4-in-1 Soft Cloth Book, Spinning Rainbow Toy, Silicone Blocks, and Interactive Magic Tissue Box
Tiny Land
Midnight Audit Vindicates the Rolling Drum

So, the Human has acquired another box of colorful distractions, this time under the dubious banner of "Tiny Land." It appears to be a starter kit fo…

★★★☆☆
Image of hahaland Trilingual Learning Tablet for Toddlers 1-3 – Upgrade Educational Toy with Sounds & Speech Therapy – Early Development Gifts for 1 Year Old Boys & Girls, Ages 12-18 Months to 2-3 Years
hahaland
Spy Tablet Intercepted, Decoded, and Approved

My human has procured a plastic rectangle that masquerades as a "tablet" for the small, clumsy human. It's a screen-free noisemaker, a profound disap…

★★★★☆
Image of Lamaze Early Development Baby Toys Mortimer the Moose
Lamaze
Moose Defeated, Trophy Claimed Beneath the Sofa

My human, in a moment of questionable judgment, has presented me with an artifact from the "Lamaze" tribe, a garish effigy they call "Mortimer the Mo…

★★★★☆
Image of Baby Einstein Sticky Spinner BPA-free Suction Cup High Chair Activity Toy and Tray Toy for Early Development, 3mo+
Baby Einstein
Suction Cup Holds Firm; Pete Is Impressed

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented a new object for my consideration. It is a product of the "Baby Einstein" corpo…

★★★★☆
Image of LEGO DUPLO My First Number Train Toy with Bricks for Learning Numbers, Preschool Educational Toys for 1.5-3 Year Old Toddlers, Girls & Boys, Early Development Activity Set, 10954
Number Train Derailed, Plastic Figures Toppled

My human seems to have acquired a collection of large, brightly-colored plastic cubes for the purpose of constructing some sort of wheeled contraptio…

★★★☆☆
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